


Constellations

by nikoxnii



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-02-04 16:13:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12774687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nikoxnii/pseuds/nikoxnii
Summary: Stars never interested Nico until Maki showed her the way. But looking out at the night sky was only step one; locating the right one was another story.





	Constellations

What made the night sky so bright? Some would say it’s because of the moon, others would reply with stars, but Nico? She would simply reply, “It’s because of her.” The way she stared out into the great beyond, her eyes trailing every star that shined for her; the way she always enjoyed finding the little constellations, pointing them out to anyone who would listen. And Nico always listened, not because she was interested in learning, but because she loved the person who was.

“Nico, are you listening?”

Nico snapped up, realizing with embarrassment that she had been staring at the redhead for quite a while as she talked away about some star she had pointed out a while ago.

“Sorry, I was too in thought about something,” the raven-haired replied, really thankfully that they had turned out all the lights on the balcony and in their apartment to see the sky better.

The younger girl shook her head in disbelief. “I just wasted my breath explaining how to find Canis Major and you’re not even listening.”

“I can totally find it,” Nico defended herself, looking up at the night sky. “You just have to find Sirius and that shouldn’t be too hard since it’s the brightest star in the sky.” The shorter girl looked around, her eyes moving back and forth across the vast sky; she could feel Maki irritably watching her as she failed to locate the star. There was just way too many of them.

“Are you done being an idiot?” Maki finally asked, her foot tapping in impatience.

Nico scoffed as she turned to the younger girl. “I’m still learning,” she reminded Maki. “I can’t just find the star with a blink of an eye like you do. Plus all the stars look the same; how am I supposed to tell?” 

Maki sighed as she pointed to Sirius; the raven-haired’s face turned a bright pink when she realized just how much brighter that star was compared to all the other ones. She turned away; muttering under her breath, “Show off.”

The redhead leaned against the railing, still staring out as Nico silently watched her. “I wonder what it’s like…” she trailed off.

“To what?”

Maki didn’t continued; Nico would have thought she was being ignored, but when the redhead replied with another answer, the older girl’s heart dropped, her eyes still glued to the mesmerized younger girl. She knew why Maki loved the stars in the sky more than anything and she hated the reason for it. Sometimes, the raven-haired wondered why she still did these night outings with Maki, but she could never get herself to say no when the redhead asked if she would be joining her. It was almost a routine and if she was being honest, Nico loved stargazing with her because it was almost like the rest of the world didn’t exist. But then reality would slap her in the face and she’d have to excuse herself every time before the other girl could notice the miserable look that would form.

_“Hoshizora.”_

* * *

“…cchi.” 

Nico grumbled, lazily pushing the hand that touched her shoulder without lifting her head up. She was way too tired to be trying to deal with anyone right now; didn’t the “busy” sign on the top of her desk say that already?

“Nicocchi,” Nozomi repeated, slightly shaking the raven-haired. Nico finally complied, sitting straight up to turn to the older girl with an annoyed and exhausted expression.

“What?” Nico spat, crossing her arms.

“I was wondering if you finished with the costume edits,” she replied, her hands locked behind her back as she simply smiled at the irritated Nico.

The shorter girl let out a sigh before turning to the massive stacks of paperwork on her desk. She knew where to look so it wouldn’t be that hard; the only problem was pulling it out from under everything else.

Nico titled her head, thinking of the best possible way to get it without messing anything up. Although, she was sure she would make a mess anyway just like her life right now; maybe it was a metaphor – Nico would think she’s got everything together until something topples everything over –

“Are you okay, Nicocchi?”

The shorter girl snapped out of her thoughts to look at Nozomi, remembering that the other girl had asked her for the edits. The purple-haired stared back at her with a look of concern as Nico turned a slight shade of pink.

“Everything’s fine,” Nico assured her with a weak chuckle. Forgetting her past worry, Nico pulled the folder from under the stack of work, resulting in all of it falling to the floor in a large mess of papers. “You have got to be kidding me.”

“Yazawa-san!” they heard someone shout; all the other workers snapped up in attention from the familiar voice of their boss. “I expect you to clean up this mess before the new idol comes in!”

“Y – yes, Ito-san!” Nico replied, cold sweat running down her neck. Nico was never scared of anyone, but her boss was just one terrifying woman.

“And Toujou-san,” Ito continued, her glare shifting from Nico to Nozomi. “Where are those edits? I’ve been waiting all day and I haven’t seen a single one.”

Nozomi took a deep breath before saying; “I’ll have them to you in the next hour.”

Their boss huffed in dissatisfaction. “And if it’s not, everyone will be paying the consequences.” She strode back into her office, slamming the door behind her. It remained silent for a few seconds before everyone let out a sigh of relief and continued their work.

“Here you go.” Nico shoved the folder into Nozomi’s hands before she started to clean up the mess. Nozomi bent down beside her, picking up the pieces of paper. “What are you doing?”

“Helping you,” Nozomi replied. “So you can get back to work faster.”

“I don’t need your help, Nozomi,” Nico huffed. “Just finish your work so the ‘Ito monster’ doesn’t get mad at you.”

The purple-haired grinned as they continued stacking the paper back into its place. “Is Nicocchi worried about me?” she teased.

Nico narrowed her eyes. “Don’t get all cheeky with me,” she warned as they both stood up after collecting everything.

Nico sat back down on her seat, expecting the older girl to leave, but when Nozomi stayed still in her spot, a curious, yet worried expression on her face, the raven-haired turned to her. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“There’s something wrong and you’re not telling me.”

The shorter girl raised an eyebrow. “Do I have to tell you everything?”

“Not really, but who else are you going to tell?” Nozomi stepped toward her friend, putting the folder down on Nico’s desk as she looked down into red eyes. 

“I could talk to anyone else,” Nico defended herself; it’s not like Nozomi was her only friend. “I could tell Eli, Umi, Kotori, Honoka, Rin, or Hanayo if I wanted to.”

“You didn’t mention Maki-chan,” Nozomi pointed out.

The raven-haired looked away from the turquoise eyes without saying a word. She turned back to her computer, hoping to drop the subject as she typed away, ignoring the sad look on Nozomi’s face. She wasn’t going to give in and she knew Nozomi wasn’t going to push it any further. 

The older girl gave up, grabbing the folder before saying; “I’ll see you after work.” She walked back to her table across the room with a heavy sigh.

Nico watched from the reflection of her computer screen as Nozomi sat down at her desk, opening the folder of edits. She really did want to talk about it, but she didn’t know where to start or how telling anyone would even help her. It was her problem and as much as she wanted Nozomi’s help, not even the fortune-teller could offer any type of assistance.

Nico had accepted this whole situation, deciding it was best not to say anything at all. It was a waste of time and breath. She wasn’t going to do anything about it because there was nothing to do.

She loved Maki, but Maki loved someone else; it was the most cliché thing to ever happen. But she happy to be able to be this close to the younger girl and that’s all she wanted.

Right?

* * *

“What do you want for dinner?”

Nico turned to Maki with a raised eyebrow as the redhead stood at the edge of the couch Nico was sitting down. “Are you cooking?”

The younger girl’s eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. “No, but I was just wondering what you wanted so I could know what you’ll be making,” she casually clarified, ignoring the ‘what the fuck?’ look on Nico’s face. “I could cook if you want me to.”

“No, you might kill us,” the raven-haired deadpanned. Maki scoffed, but didn’t argue back as Nico stood up from the couch to head towards their kitchen. She followed behind her, her shadow catching Nico’s attention. Turning around to face the redhead, Nico asked, “Is there a reason you’re following me?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Nico put her hands on her hips as she waited for Maki to continue. “I’m hungry.”

Nico sighed. “You’re such a child,” she commented, taking in the satisfaction that Maki turned red from the accusation. “What does little Maki want tonight?”

The redhead twitched at the unnecessary nickname, but decided not to indulge Nico’s teasing by retaliating. “Anything with tomatoes,” she replied, walking to the fridge to take it out and handing it over to Nico.

“You really just get what you want, don’t you?”

Maki shrugged as Nico took hold of the tomatoes, placing them on the cutting board to prepare them. She started to slowly take out different ingredients, looking through the various cupboards to find what she needed. It wasn’t until she had everything out did she realize that Maki was still standing in the same spot, silently watching her.

“Did you need something?” Nico asked; Maki never really stood around in the kitchen.

“I just thought…I could, you know…”

Nico smirked. “No, I actually don’t know,” she replied, wanting for Maki to say it out loud. If only she didn’t forget her phone on the couch, she would be recording this moment.

Maki’s lips quivered in embarrassment as she avoided any eye contact with her roommate, nervously rubbing her elbow as she tried to muster up the words in a coherent sentence.

“…I wanted to…”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch the last part.”

Maki glared at the older girl, knowing full well that Nico was just messing with her. The raven-haired would have been intimidated if it weren’t for the fact that Maki’s face was all red.

“Okay, you can help out,” Nico said, trying not to laugh. “Start out with these.” She handed the box of noodles to the taller girl who immediately knew what to do. Nico smiled; at least she remembered that detail from all the times she tried to teach Maki how to cook.

The older girl turned on the stove, ready to make her special sauce as she quietly watched the redhead prepare the noodles, humming to one of their old songs from their high school days when they were idols. Nico loved those times; getting to spend all her time singing and performing like she always wanted, but best of all, she did it with the people she cared about. It’s not that they didn’t ever see each other, but their schedules never matched up that it was almost impossible. Nico was just lucky to be living with Maki and working with Nozomi; if it wasn’t for that, she may have never seen any of them again.

As Maki continued to thoroughly do her one job, Nico noticed the small grin on her face, blinking a couple of times to make sure she wasn’t imagining it.

“You seem to be in a good mood today,” she suddenly pointed out that Maki’s smile quickly faded as she hastily turned to look at the older girl.

“I – I am not,” she denied with a pout. “What’s wrong with humming?”

“Nothing,” Nico stated with a snicker; she was definitely not letting this drop. “But smiling at noodles is a whole different story.” The tips of Maki’s ears went a slight red. “Mind telling me what’s got you so delighted?”

“It’s none of your business,” Maki quickly rejected, draining the noodles.

“Oh, I see,” Nico said, her teasing tone catching the redhead’s attention. Maki jerked up with anticipation, hoping that if she didn’t look at the older girl, she wouldn’t continue any further. But who was she kidding: she was dealing with Yazawa Nico.

“So, Maki,” the raven-haired started, leaning against the countertop next to the taller girl who refused to make eye contact. “What was that smile for? Something on your mind?”

“No,” Maki replied, continuing to look straight ahead. “Nothing in particular.”

“That wasn’t very convincing.” The older girl shook her head in disbelief. “How did you survive being an idol with that attitude?”

Maki narrowed her eyes without turning to face Nico. “People thought this attitude was hot,” she remembered with a look of disapproval.

_Yeah, it is._ Nico shook her thoughts away before leaning closer to the flustered redhead with a smirk. “But you still haven’t answered my question.” Maki’s breathing hitched the closer the older girl neared her face. “I thought we have a roommate agreement not to keep any secrets.”

“You’re using that rule too loosely,” the taller girl argued. “That’s only meant for when we have problems.”

“This is a problem.” Nico backed away to cross her arms, a look of irritation on her face. “You’re not telling me why you’re so happy.”

Maki sighed. “Do you really want to know that badly?” she asked, finally turning to Nico who instantly smiled. “You’re such a pain.”

“You knew what you were getting in to when you asked to be roommates,” the older girl reminded her.

The redhead waved off the statement before saying, “It’s really nothing big.”

“If you were unknowingly smiling, it has to be big.”

Maki’s cheeks went red as her eyes wandered around the kitchen; now Nico had to know. Just what made this expressionless idiot get all excited and giddy all of a sudden? Ever since they started living together, Nico has seen the many sides of the soon-to-be-doctor that she would have never shown anyone else; it’s why she always ended up falling even deeper. But this one was new even after 3 years of being under the same roof.

“…over,” Maki muttered.

“What? What are you: a little kid?”

The redhead glared at Nico before repeating, “Rin is coming over.”

“Oh.”

Nico was slightly disappointed that Maki didn’t catch the sadness in her tone, but at the same time, she didn’t want to explain herself if the redhead had heard it. She wasn’t about to confess her feelings right in the middle of their kitchen.

“Hanayo too,” Maki continued, twirling a strand of her hair. “I asked them to have dinner with us next week.”

_She asked?_

The raven-haired forced a small grin, trying not to scream out how she truly felt; Maki didn’t deserve that.

“I’m going to finish cooking,” Nico stated, wanting to forget the whole conversation all together. “You can go study and wait.”

“You think I can’t help you?” The redhead raised an eyebrow.

“No, it’s not that,” the older girl smiled, holding her hands together so they wouldn’t shake in front of Maki. “I just want to do it alone tonight; I had a stressful day at work.”

“Oh…” Maki’s vexed expression disappeared into embarrassment as she twirled a strand of her hair. “I guess I’ll leave you to do it then.”

She started making her way through the threshold; Nico listened to her footsteps, aimlessly stirring the contents in the pot. She hated the hard thumping of her heart and the way it squeezed her chest. She thought of all the ways she could subtly keep her distance from the other girl in order to stop these feelings; Maki probably wouldn’t even notice considering the fact that she was in her last year of med school and was almost always busy anyways.

Just as Nico decided to give herself space, Maki popped her head back into the kitchen. “Hey Nico.”

The raven-haired turned, her breathing hitching when she saw the concerned amethyst eyes looking at her. “It’s supposed to be really nice out tonight,” the younger girl started. “If you want…we could go out after dinner.”

Nico grinned. “Sure.”

She was an idiot.

* * *

Nico stared out the window, watching as hordes of people passed by; most of them were couples and it was starting to piss the raven-haired off. How was it possible to find someone to love you back?

“You’re here early.”

Nico turned to find Eli and Umi standing at the head of the table, their long hair flowing behind them; maybe Nico should start putting her hair down instead of a ponytail. At least she got over the pigtails back in college or she would still be mistaken for a child.

“Or you two are just late,” the raven-haired replied, watching them slide into the booth across from her. “What took you guys so long?”

Eli glanced at Umi who quickly avoided any eye contact as she pretended to scratch her nose. Nico waited impatiently, looking from one to the other in irritation, but just before she was about to say something, Eli spoke up:

“Umi couldn’t leave until she said goodbye to Kotori so we waited till she came back from the store.”

“Ha?” The raven-haired turned to the embarrassed Umi. “You have got to be kidding me.”

“It’s just…not right,” Umi defended herself in a self-conscious whisper.

“You could have just called her or something,” Nico pointed out.

The blue-haired frowned. “It’s not the same. You’ll understand when you find someone you love.”

Nico slouched further into the booth, her heart dropping; Umi quickly shot up from her seat, realizing her choice of words. “Ah, I didn’t mean it like that; I just meant – ”

“Yeah, yeah, I know what you meant,” the raven-haired interrupted, sitting straight up to assure Umi that she was okay, but the way Umi sighed told Nico that she didn’t believe her one bit.

It was silent for a moment as Nico’s downcast eyes scanned the restaurant, trying not to look at either Eli or Umi who she knew were watching her every move. She needed a minute to say what she wanted, but starting out the conversation the way it did wasn’t what she needed.

“So what’s on your mind?” Eli finally asked, trying to muster up a small grin.

Nico turned to the blonde. “I’m sure you already know what it is,” she replied, leaning her chin into her open palm.

Eli and Umi exchanged glances, shifting uncomfortably in their seats. Nico knew she put the pressure on them; they weren’t like Nozomi or Honoka who would just outright state the problem and try to fix it without being asked. It was the reason why the raven-haired called them instead.

“Are you sure you want to talk about it?” Umi asked, catching a glimpse of Nico’s discouraged expression.

The older girl nodded. “What do I do?”

“I still think you should just say something,” Eli stated; she’s been saying it for the past 6 years now and Nico always thought it was the stupidest idea ever.

“Easy for you to say,” the raven-haired scoffed.

“I agree with Eli.” Nico turned to Umi with surprise. “You’ve kept this bottled up for years, Nico; don’t you think you need to get it out now?”

The shorter girl narrowed her eyes. “How would telling her solve anything? Are we forgetting she’s in love with someone else? That’ll just make things awkward between us.”

“Of course we haven’t forgotten,” Umi sternly replied. “But we weren’t aiming to have Maki reciprocate your feelings.”

Nico tilted her head in confusion. “Then what’s the point?”

“Nico,” Eli started, her uneasy expression making the raven-haired nervous. “I think you know what we’re getting at.”

The shorter girl looked between her two friends as they stared back at her with regrettable eyes, their lips formed into a frown. She knew they were right, but did she actually want that? Was it about what she wanted or what she needed? She couldn’t decide anymore and it was driving her crazy.

“What…what if I can’t?” Nico’s heavy breathing and jittery hands were getting the best of her.

Eli gave her a small reassuring grin as she held on to one of Nico’s hands. “You can, but you just need to take that step.”

The raven-haired turned to Umi who also wore a comforting smile as she grabbed on to Nico’s other hand. “We believe in you.”

“But – ”

“Nico,” Eli interjected, squeezing her hand to get her attention.

The raven-haired didn’t want to hear it, but she knew she had to; she knew they were right. She’s been holding on too long for nothing and the more she held on, the harder it was getting. She knew the moment those words were said out loud, it was going to be too real, but maybe that’s what she needed.

“Let her go.”

* * *

“Is everything ready?” Maki asked for the tenth time in the same hour, pacing around their living room as Nico continued to set the table. 

“No, we’re missing something.”

“What?” Maki hurried to the table to check on everything, nervously scanning the place for any missing object.

“Nothing, I just wanted to see you squirm,” Nico teased before walking over to the kitchen to get the last remaining utensils, ignoring Maki’s scowl. “Could you pour water into the glasses?”

Maki complied, slowly pouring the water until her hand slipped, spilling it onto the floor. She looked up to see Nico’s poker face, her cheeks turning a slight red.

“Are you trying to fuck things up right now?” Nico walked over to the mess, quickly cleaning it up with a rag; Maki quickly grabbed another one to help her roommate.

Nico tried her best to focus her attention on the spilled water, but it was becoming hard to do such a simple task when Maki smelled so nice, a sweet aroma filling up the little space between them. Why did she have to make everything so difficult? Why did she have to be so perfect?

The doorbell suddenly rang that Maki snapped up, leaving Nico to finish the job with a crushed heart. She stood up just as she heard the door open and a loud “Surprise!” resonated through the apartment.

“Rin-chan, you’re being too noisy.”

“Oh, sorry, nya.”

Nico smiled: it was almost like old times. She made her way to the entrance, grinning at the two younger guests when they both caught sight of her.

“Nico-chan, nya!” Rin dashed in, jumping towards the older girl to pull her into a tight hug.

It was definitely like old times except now Rin was stronger which made escaping futile; I guess that’s what happens when you’re a personal trainer.

“Rin-chan, let’s not break the host,” Hanayo stated with a nervous smile, putting a hand on Rin’s shoulder so she could loosen her grip on Nico.

“Oh, right.” The orange-haired chuckled, letting go of the shorter girl to dust her off, Nico’s annoyed expression making her smile. “I’m just so glad to see Nico-chan! She’s always so busy with her job at the agency; Nozomi-chan always says that Nico-chan is hard at work with the papers and her meetings with their boss.”

By paper, she meant all her backed up work and by meetings, she meant all the times Ito-san called Nico in to scold her; Nico was going to kill Nozomi at work and she’d apologize to Eli later.

“And Maki-chan is getting ready to become a doctor, nya,” Rin continued, looking over at the redhead with a wide grin.

Maki’s cheeks turned red as they all turned to her. “It – it’s really nothing,” she muttered in embarrassment.

“It’s fantastic!” Rin exclaimed in excitement. “It’s just so great to see you guys again! Now, where’s the food?”

Nico sighed with a shake of her head. “Is that the real reason you came here?”

“No, but I haven’t eaten all day, nya,” Rin complained, holding her empty stomach to emphasize her hunger. “And Nico-chan always makes the best food so I just want to taste it.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere.”

Rin laughed. “Well, I tried, nya.”

Nico gestured towards their living room, letting her guests make their way to the table first. She missed being around them; she missed being around the rest of Muse. She felt a surge of happiness fill her body as she watched the two younger ones admire the food set out, but then that quickly disappeared when she turned back to Maki, her eyes gleaming with bliss and a small smile to accompany it.

This was going to be a long night.

* * *

“I’m so full, nya!” Rin stretched before tapping her stomach a few times with a satisfied sigh. “Thank you for the food, Nico-chan.”

“Anytime.”

“Really?”

“No.”

Rin puffed out her cheeks as she said, “You’re so mean, Nico-chan. Don’t play me like that.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” the older girl replied, taking the last bite of her chicken.

The orange-haired girl giggled. “You’re the same as ever, Nico-chan. I’m really glad you haven’t changed at all; I might’ve been sad if you weren’t the Nico-chan I remembered. And I’m glad Maki-chan is the same too! I love her the way she is.”

Nico glanced at the redhead for her reaction, not surprised that she started blushing wildly at the comment, her eyes widening as she stared down at her empty plate. Nico really hated how flustered she got from such a simple remark, but whenever Nico complimented her, she would be called stupid. Just what made Rin so special?

The raven-haired stood up to collect the empty plates, stacking them together before heading to the kitchen to place them in the sink.

“Ah, let me help you with that,” Hanayo offered, standing up from her seat to grab the empty glasses and following after Nico. Rin and Maki soon followed, grabbing whatever dish they could to bring with them.

As they started to place the dirty dishes in the sink, Nico asked, “Do you two have any plans after this?”

“Not really,” Hanayo replied with her soft smile. “We kind of just go with whatever is happening. Oh, but Rin-chan mentioned wanting to see the shooting stars tonight.”

Maki immediately stopped what she was doing, her head snapping up in surprise. “Rin likes stars?”

“Oh, most definitely,” Hanayo giggled. “She’s been into them lately; learning about constellations and stuff like that.”

“What is everyone talking about without me?” Rin stepped into the kitchen with the last of the dishes, her ears perking up.

“Just that you’re into astronomy,” the brown-haired girl replied as she started to wash the plates, Nico waiting with a dishtowel to dry them off.

Rin grinned. “I’m still learning ever since I saw Sirius on my home one night, nya,” she stated with glee. “I recently found Orion so I’ve just been slowly locating all the other constellations, but they’re not that easy with you’re an amateur.”

“So you’ve been looking for constellations too?” Maki asked, her body still frozen from shock.

The younger girl nodded. “I know Maki-chan loves the stars so I was going to ask if you could teach me when you have time,” she admitted. “If you’re not busy.”

“Of course,” the redhead replied a little too quickly that the tips of her ears turned pink. “I mean…if you want to.”

“I’m all for it, nya!” Rin uttered.

“Then how about now? We can go out to the balcony.”

Nico stopped wiping, her heart shattering as she stared down at the shining plate in her hands.

That was their thing. It was the thing only they did together; they never invited anyone else, never thought of inviting anyone else, and they always seemed to make time just to stare out at the night sky…just the two of them. But now Maki wanted to go with someone else and although that shouldn’t surprise Nico, it still hurt as if a ton of bricks just busted through the roof and on top of her.

“Sure, nya; if Kayochin and Nico-chan are okay with us leaving.”

“Go ahead,” Hanayo encouraged them. “We’ll be all right here.”

Rin gave her a thumbs up before following Maki out the kitchen and towards the balcony. Nico silently watched, her heart crumbling and her hands trembling; she was glad Hanayo was turned around to notice it. She really didn’t want to have to explain herself.

“Would you excuse me for a minute?” Hanayo nodded as Nico half-jogged out the kitchen and into her room.

She didn’t bother to turn on the lights or walk any further, opting to slide against her doorframe until she touched the cold floor. She brought her knees up to her chest, tightly pulling them in as she felt another pang hit her, her head spinning and her whole body shaking.

She would have to apologize to Hanayo later, but right now, the tears just wouldn’t stop.

* * *

“Is that what you want?” Nozomi asked, holding her cup of coffee as she stared at Nico with concern.

“It’s for the best,” Nico replied, taking a sip out of her mug. “I don’t think I can take it any longer.”

Nozomi frowned. “What are you going to tell her?”

The raven-haired didn’t reply right away; she actually hadn’t thought this far with her plan. “What if she doesn’t ask?”

The older girl raised an eyebrow. “Why wouldn’t Maki-chan ask?” she inquired.

“Because she doesn’t care?”

“Now you’re just being ridiculous,” Nozomi said, narrowing her eyes at the other girl. “I’m sure she will care when you tell her.”

Nico forced a laugh at the thought of it. “No, she wouldn’t. Rin has been coming around a lot more lately. I’m sure I don’t really exist anymore.”

“Nicocchi…”

“This is what I want, Nozomi,” Nico told her; she’s thought about it for weeks now and she was set on it. “So are you willing to help me or not?”

Nozomi took a deep breath before saying, “You’ve thought this through so I won’t stop you, Nicocchi. I just don’t want you regretting this later.”

“I won’t,” she assured the older girl.

“Then let’s do it.”

* * *

Nico stared around her room, trying to figure out the best way to do it. Nozomi said she would be coming over on the weekend with Eli to help her out so that gave Nico enough time to think. 

“Nico.”

The sound of her name caught her attention as she turned to her open door to find Maki standing there. The younger girl was staring at her with curiosity that it made Nico wonder how long she had been watching her.

“What’s up?”

They stared at each other in silence for a little longer as the clock ticked away. It’s not like Nico wasn’t used to this; it just meant that Maki had a question and she was figuring out the best way to ask.

“I was wondering if you want to come out to the balcony with me,” she finally said, scratching the back of her neck.

“Oh…is Rin not coming over?” Nico asked.

“No, she has some stuff to do,” Maki stated. “So I just thought you might want to join me. That’s if you’re not busy.”

The raven-haired wasn’t really that busy, but did she really want to go when it wasn’t that special anymore? She hadn’t stepped out onto the balcony since that night Rin and Hanayo came over and Maki never asked for her to join her anymore ever since Rin replaced her. Now Nico just felt like stand-in.

“Sure.”

_What the fuck is wrong with me?_

Maki smiled; Nico almost forgot she was upset. “Great, I’ll be out there whenever you’re ready.”

As soon as the younger girl disappeared, Nico grabbed the nearest pillow, screaming into it as loud as she could until her lungs started to burn. She told herself to keep her distance so it wouldn’t be so hard when she told Maki; she was making it more complicated.

Nico threw the pillow back on her bed, fixing herself before she made her way to the balcony. She took small steps, her mind wandering and her heart thumping; she’s been avoiding the it for a month now and it just felt weird to be going back there. It was special to her, a place she thought only her and Maki shared, but who was she kidding? She was sure she didn’t even mean that much to Maki.

She slid the glass door, catching the redhead’s attention. Why did she have to look so stunning in the moonlight?

“Took you long enough,” she complained.

“Sorry.” Nico made her way to the railing, making sure to put space between her and Maki. “Anything out tonight?”

Maki looked back out, leaning against the rails. “Well, you could see Aquila around here,” she stated, pointing to what Nico thought might be it. She still had no idea what to be looking for. “You have no idea what to be looking at, do you?” Caught.

Nico laughed weakly. “No, I actually don’t,” she admitted, rubbing the back of her neck.

The redhead raised an eyebrow; Nico never acknowledged defeat before so she wasn’t surprised that Maki was looking at her curiously. But the younger girl let it slide, not thinking too much on it.

“Do you see that bright star right there?” Maki pointed to one of the brighter ones in the mass; Nico nodded when she caught sight of it. “That’s the head so if you follow on both sides of that, you’ll see the wings and if you do down from that, you’ll see the body.”

Nico eyes trailed the sky, trying to imagine an eagle forming. Although it wasn’t quite clear, she eventually figured it out, mentally patting herself on the back; this was probably the first constellation she could actually see.

“That’s one corner of the summer triangle,” Maki stated.

“Summer triangle?”

“It’s a star formation that happens during the summer,” she informed Nico. “Altair, Vega, and Deneb make up the corners and each form a constellation. Altair is the star that you just saw.”

Nico looked up, staring at the star with awe. No wonder Maki loved astronomy so much; it was actually pretty interesting when you understood it. And the older girl loved how into it Maki would get, just staring at the sky, always finding something new to look at it. But she knew she couldn’t keep doing this to herself, but maybe enjoying it now was good enough.

“So what does Vega and Deneb make?” the raven-haired asked.

Maki grinned. “Vega is the star for Lyra which is a musical instrument; Deneb makes up Cygrus, the Swan.”

“That’s pretty cool,” Nico commented.

“Isn’t it?” The redhead scooted closer to Nico who gripped the railing when she realized that Maki was coming closer. She tried not to move away, her heart picking up speed when she smelled Maki’s familiar scent. “You could see Vega right there and then Deneb is not too far from it.”

Nico nodded, unable to put words together as she kept her eyes on the sky; if she even turned her head a little, she would be face-to-face with Maki and she didn’t need that right now.

“Wow, you can actually see it clearer than the other night,” Maki remarked. “Rin would really like this.”

The raven-haired’s heart dropped, her eyes looking down to the street below them, unconsciously watching the many cars passing by.

“Maki,” she whispered.

“I guess I could show her tomorrow,” the younger girl continued, unable to hear Nico. “Hopefully it’ll be this clear again.”

“Maki.”

“She’ll be so jealous that I found it; she’s been looking all over for it – ”

“MAKI!”

The taller girl stopped talking, staring wide-eyed at Nico who’s knuckles turned white from gripping the railing too tightly. Nico has never shouted like that in her life and if she was being honest, she scared herself just as much as the look on Maki’s face.

It was quiet as neither of them said anything to each other. The older girl still hadn’t figured out how to say it, but she couldn’t turn back now; not when she started it like this.

“I’m moving.”

“What?”

Nico turned to the younger girl, trying her best not to cry right now, but her heart stung even more when she saw the shaken look in Maki’s eyes.

“I’m moving,” she repeated. “Nozomi offered to take me in.”

“Wh…why?”

Eli and Umi’s words kept echoing in her head, but she couldn’t say it, she was too scared of what might come next. If she left it without saying anything, maybe her and Maki could just remain friends, no strain that could break the friendship they built up. She knew moving would cause some tension, but they could eventually figure it out when the time came.

“I just think it’s easier,” Nico half-lied. “Nozomi and I work together and her apartment is closer than ours.”

Maki blinked a couple of times in confusion and the older girl knew that she wasn’t buying it.

“But why…so suddenly?” the redhead questioned. “You’ve been working together for a while so why now?”

“You already know I don’t think things through,” Nico said, trying to lighten up the mood with a smile. “But work has become increasingly busy so staying with Nozomi might be the better idea. And you can have the apartment to yourself.”

“But…”

Nico waved off Maki’s next statement, not wanting to have this conversation anymore. “I’ll head in first; have to start packing or Nozomi and Eli would kill me.”

Maki silently watched as the older girl slid the door open, taking a step in before she decided that she wasn’t going to leave it like that. She pulled Nico by the arm to bring her back onto the balcony, forcing Nico to face her.

“You’re not telling me the truth,” she accused her.

Nico narrowed her eyes. “Excuse me? Don’t go accusing me of lying.”

“I know when you’re hiding something, Nico,” the younger girl stated angrily, her hand keeping hold of Nico’s arm so she couldn’t go anywhere. “What’s the real reason you’re moving?”

“That’s none of your business,” Nico argued back. “What happens in my life isn’t something you can just butt in to.”

Maki pulled her closer out of anger, her fuming purple eyes glaring into red ones. The close proximity alarmed Nico as she did her best to keep herself from doing anything stupid.

“I thought we have an agreement not to keep secrets,” Maki reminded her. “So why are you lying to me?”

“I already told you my reason.”

“I’m not stupid,” the redhead retaliated. “Is it something I did?”

Nico couldn’t bring herself to be angry with the younger girl anymore, her hard expression relaxing into one of misery. It really wasn’t Maki’s fault this was happening.

“No.”

“Then did I not do something I was supposed to?” Maki inquired furiously.

“No, it’s not that.”

“Then what, Nico? Why can’t you just tell me what’s going on? I thought we were friends.”

Nico clenched her teeth, her hands balling into fists. “I’m in love with you!”

Maki jerked up, her eyes widening at the heartbroken raven-haired as she continued: “I’ve been in love with you and I can’t stand being here to watch you love someone else. I may just be a friend to you, but you mean so much more to me than anyone in this world. So that’s why I never said anything. I knew I could never make you love me because your love was directed towards someone else; I thought that all I wanted was to be close to you, but that’s not even enough. So I’m moving because every time I look at you, it gets harder for me to let you go.”

The younger girl stared at Nico, their heavy breathing filling up the space between them. They stayed in that position for a little longer until the raven-haired slipped her hand out of Maki’s slacking grip.

“You didn’t do anything,” Nico assured her, stepping back to put more space. “I’m sorry that you had to find out this way.”

The raven-haired walked back into the apartment without waiting for Maki to respond, as if she wanted to hear what she had to say anyway. What’s done is done; all she had to do now was wait till the weekend and they could live their own lives away from each other.

Nico slammed her room door and ambled towards her bed where she plopped herself down to look at her ceiling.

There was no way she could sleep now, not when her heart was completely broken.

* * *

She didn’t come out of her room all day and Nico didn’t blame her. They’ve been avoiding each other since that night and the raven-haired thought it was for the best; it made her decision easier. 

“Is this one ready?” Eli asked Nico, pointing to the box she had just finished packing.

Nico nodded. “Just a few more things and everything should be packed.”

The blonde picked up the box with ease, strolling out towards the exit before she stopped right in front of Maki’s door as if contemplating whether she should say something or not. Nico pretended not to notice when Eli looked back at her as if she was going to say something, but decided best not to.

Nico put the last of her things into the box before tapping it up. She already knew what Eli was going to say, but at the same time, they both knew that it would be Nico’s decision in the end. If she looked at Maki for even a second, she might just tell Eli and Nozomi to bring everything back into the apartment. She couldn’t do that; she needed to leave and move on.

“All set, Nicocchi?” Nozomi asked.

“Yeah, this is the last of it.” Nico wrote ‘fragile’ on the side before Eli came back in to pick it up. “Thanks, Eli.”

“Not a problem,” the taller girl smiled before walking back out.

Nico looked around the apartment, every single memory she’s created in here rushing through her mind. She had to admit that she was a little sad to be leaving it all behind, but it was time for her to move forward.

“Are you sure about this?” Nozomi asked her as she watched Nico slowly scan the room.

“You already know I have to do this,” Nico replied.

“But do you?”

The raven-haired turned to the older girl. “Yes, I do. So let’s get going before traffic hits.”

Nico started to make her way towards the exit, taking off the key to the apartment from her keychain to place it on the countertop for Maki to see. She stood there, her hand on top of the object for a few seconds.

“You don’t have to force yourself,” the purple-haired stated.

“I’m not forcing myself,” Nico argued back. “I want to do this.”

Nozomi didn’t say anything as the shorter girl strode past her towards the open door. She followed after her, stepping out as Nico held the door.

“You’re not going to say goodbye?” Nozomi questioned.

“I think we’re passed goodbyes,” Nico replied, holding on to the doorknob as she looked into the apartment one last time.

The purple-haired sighed but didn’t say anymore as she made her way to the stairs to join Eli downstairs. Nico stared into the quiet room; knowing that Maki was still in there made it harder for the raven-haired to look away. But she knew it was time to go and she couldn’t have her two friends waiting any longer.

She shut the door closed.

* * *

**5 months later**

“Are you sure you don’t want to go, Nicocchi?” Nozomi asked her for seventh time that day.

“I’m sure,” she repeated again, sitting on the couch as she changed the channels.

Nozomi stepped out of her room, putting on one of her earrings as she said, “But it’s Maki-chan’s graduation. She’s invited all of us and it would be nice to have Muse back together for a special night.”

“I’m sure she invited me to be polite,” Nico stated, her eyes glued to the screen. “You can go ahead. I’ll be fine here.”

“That’s not right, Nicocchi,” Nozomi pouted, sitting next to the shorter girl to pull her cheek; Nico groaned in pain. “Maki-chan isn’t that type of person; I’m sure she wants you to be there too.”

“Totally…doubt…that,” she replied in between the older girl’s pinches. She slapped Nozomi’s hand away to talk properly. “I’m not going, Nozomi, and that’s final.”

The purple-haired frowned. “You still can’t see her?”

Nico’s eyes shifted towards the ground, as she said, “No, I can’t.”

“Have you talked to her at all?”

“Not since that night,” the shorter girl stated, wanting to push that memory away. “I don’t think I’m ready yet. So it’s best I don’t go to ruin the night.”

Nozomi stared at her friend, pondering what to say next, but when she couldn’t find the right words, she stood up to finish getting ready, leaving Nico on the couch to continue watching her show.

Nico took her phone out of her pocket, going through her contacts until she reached a familiar number. She stared at it, not knowing what to do with it. If she called, would Maki even pick up? She doubted the redhead wanted to hear her voice so why was seeing her face going to make anything better?

“Nicocchi.”

Nico looked up to find Nozomi watching her. “I’m sure she wants to hear your voice,” she continued.

“Don’t say things like that,” the raven-haired scolded, pushing her phone back into her pocket. “I might just believe you.”

The older girl giggled. “Always the same, Nicocchi.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Nico inquired with a raised eyebrow.

“Nothing,” Nozomi replied, but before the raven-haired could say anything, she turned around, pulling her hair out of the way. “Could you please zip my dress up?”

Nico jumped off the couch to help the older girl. As she zipped up the back, Nozomi said, “Tonight is going to be pretty special, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, she’s graduating from med school,” Nico stated.

“Well, that too,” the older girl said as soon as Nico finished.

“Huh?”

A knock on the door interrupted them before the purple-haired could continue. She went to open the door, revealing Eli on the other side.

“Don’t you look stunning, Elichi.” Nozomi teased.

The blonde’s cheeks turned a dark red. “Nozomi…”

“Please, I don’t want to throw up right now,” Nico deadpanned as her two friends turned to her.

“You’re not going, Nico?” Eli asked, realizing that the raven-haired was still wearing her casual clothes.

“Nah, I’m just going to stay in.”

“But – ”

“I think we should get going now,” Nozomi interrupted her with a smile. “We don’t want to be late.”

“Nozomi – ”

“We’ll be back after the dinner, Nicocchi,” the older girl interjected again, pushing Eli in an attempt to shut her up; Nico watched in confusion. “So if you need anything, just call us. Have a good night.”

Nozomi shut the door behind her, leaving Nico in the apartment. She stared at the closed door in bewilderment before letting it be. She made her way back to the couch, laying down on it as she stared at the TV screen.

Sometimes Nozomi just didn’t make sense.

* * *

Nico huddled deeper into the blanket surrounding her, tears falling as she curled into a ball. She had a love/hate relationship with these kinds of things so she didn’t know why she was so attracted to doing it.

“What a stupid movie,” she muttered, blowing her nose. She was glad Nozomi was nowhere to be around to record her.

The clock told her it was going to be nine, which meant that the ceremony should have ended a few minutes ago and that the party would begin soon. She thought about how they were all doing and whether it was the right choice to have missed it. She did want to be with everyone again, but yet again, she just wasn’t ready.

“What the hell? Stop being an idiot and tell her already,” Nico scolded the main character on the screen as the actress walked away from him. “You’re so stupid.”

_You’re just as stupid._

Nico wiped her tears, taking in a deep breath to calm herself down. Maybe being alone right now wasn’t the right choice either.

She stood up from the couch and headed to the bathroom to fix herself. She washed her face and let her hair down, combing through it; maybe a walk around the city would do her good than sitting her watching a romantic movie.

She picked out a new change of clothes, but just as she put on a new shirt, someone knocked on the door. Nico froze to make sure she wasn’t imagining it; when another knock came, she finished putting on her clothes before striding to the door, shaking her head in disbelief.

“Nozomi, I told you not to forget your – ”

Nico stopped when she realized the person on the other side didn’t have purple hair, but red. The shorter girl’s eyes widened and they both stood still, waiting for the other to say anything. It was nerve wrecking; they hadn’t seen each other in months and now she’s standing at her door in a gorgeous dress with her hair neatly tied, her eyes shining even brighter than Nico could remember and here Nico was, wearing a T-shirt and jeans.

“Hi,” Maki finally uttered.

“Hey.”

It went quiet again; the silence killed her, but Nico had no idea what to say. She didn’t know why the redhead was standing at her door instead of the ballroom door where her party was being held.

“What are you doing here? Don’t you have a party to host?”

“Why didn’t you come?”

“Eh?”

Maki stared at Nico, knowing that she heard her correctly. She waited in anticipation for an answer, but the raven-haired stared back in confusion, wondering what to say next.

“I…I don’t know,” she replied. “I just didn’t feel like it.”

“Feel like going? Or feel like seeing me?”

Nico turned her eyes away as she clarified, “Feel like seeing you.”

“I see.” The younger girl handed Nico an envelope that had her name printed in cursive on the front.

“What’s this?” the raven-haired questioned, taking the object.

“In case you want to come to the party later,” Maki stated matter-of-factly. “Everyone wants to see you.”

The older girl flipped the envelope around, opening it to read the invitation. She scanned the paper before saying with a mannered grin, “Thank you, but I don’t think I’ll be going. I’ll make sure to make plans with everyone when they’re not busy.”

“I don’t get it.”

Nico jerked up. “You don’t get what?”

“Why is it that I only realize it when you’re nowhere near me?” Maki started in seriousness.

“What are you talking about?” the older girl questioned.

Maki didn’t reply right away as she turned her head, her eyes shut closed and her jaw locked tight. “I hated you for leaving.”

Nico narrowed her eyes. “What? You have no right – ”

“I hated how you left without a second thought,” the younger girl interrupted her, ignoring Nico’s offended scowl. “I didn’t get why I was so upset when I shouldn’t have been. I thought it was because you left so suddenly or that you didn’t even give me time to process that you were leaving. But then I realized there was only one reason why I hated it so much.”

“This better be a good reason,” Nico stated in vexation.

“It’s because you weren’t around anymore.” The older girl heard the shake in Maki’s voice. “It’s because I couldn’t hear your laugh or watch you smile. There was no annoying voice to pester me about eating healthy or washing the dishes. You weren’t there to welcome me home or see me off. I couldn’t enjoy looking at the stars without you and it hurt so much.”

The tears started running down Maki’s cheek as she kept her face turned to pretend like they weren’t visible. Nico quickly reacted, reaching out to wipe them as best as she could, but the younger girl gently pushed her away to look her in the eyes.

“I didn’t hate you, I hated myself,” Maki continued, letting the tears fall. “I hated myself for realizing too late that I’m in love with you.”

Nico’s breathing hitched as she stared into the amethyst eyes she fell for a long time ago. Was she dreaming? “What if its not too late?”

“Why would you even love me after all that I’ve done to you?”

The raven-haired chuckled as she wiped Maki’s face again; this time the younger girl let her. “Isn’t it obvious? I fell for every single side of you, even the one that loved Rin because it showed me that you were capable of falling in love. I got to know more about you than anyone else did, even the dorky parts.”

“Hey…”

Nico wrapped her arms around Maki, pulling her in for a hug and listening to the rapid beating of her heart against her ear. “You could have loved someone else for the rest of your life and to me, it would have always been you.”

Maki lifted up the older girl’s chin to look her in the eyes, the tears slowly drying up. “Well, then consider yourself lucky that that person is you.” 

“I think _you_ should consider yourself lucky,” the raven-haired clarified.

“Don’t push it,” the younger girl deadpanned.

Nico laughed as Maki leaned down to rest her forehead against the shorter girl’s, a grin on her face. “Can I kiss you?”

“Are you stupid?” Nico said, scrunching up her eyebrows. Maki stared back at her in surprise. “You don’t ask; you just do.”

The redhead leaned down, her lips gently pressed against Nico’s for a split second in nervousness. The older girl quickly pulled her in to kiss her longer as Maki’s hands cupped her chin.

Nico loved looking at the stars; the way they shined in the dark every night. But it wasn’t until this moment that Nico realized the brightest star wasn’t in the sky, it was always right next to her. And there was no way in hell she was letting it go.


End file.
